Monday, 25 May 2015

Trapped in Love

I am sure many of us stays in a relationship despite how much the person they love hurts them
they cant seem to get out of that relationship or get themselves to break up with that person, even if that person is just toying with them, taking them for granted or taking advantage of their affection or perhaps that other person is too immature and cant seem to understand how much they are hurting us unconsciously but still ... 
like an idiot we love them too much to let go of them regardless of everything...
 This is for all of you ...

For Those Who Cant Read My Handwriting here it is:
Like A Voodoo Doll You Hold My Heart
Poking And Hurting Or Caressing Softly
You're The One To Hold The Strings
Making Me Crave You and Torment Me From Within
You Very Well Know All The Tricks Around
Just A Little Sweetness Is All It Takes
To Keep Me By Your Side Like A Dog Sitting On The Ground
But Is It All Am I To You?
A Little Puppet To Dance For You?
Satisfying Your Needs Whenever You Want
With No Say Or Whatsoever And Follow All Your Commands?
Sure My Love For You Is No Lie
But If That's How You Wanna Play This Game Than I Beg To You
Please Crush This Heart And Let Me Die...

Written and
© S.Naila Ahsan

Thursday, 21 May 2015

The Caged Bird

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
By William Henry Davies

Ever since i was a kid this line made an impact on me.
 In this life... when in the eyes of others its like u have everything in the world
and things would be going according to how any girl would wish for
everyone around you making decision thinking that this is what u really wanted 
but is it really so?
did they ever bothered asking the person in question what she wants?
i am sure this post might be sounding a bit ungrateful as if throwing away the blessing that we have 
In this life is happiness defined? i mean sure there are things which are very nice and all
but perhaps we don't want that happiness? perhaps we want to create our happiness on our own?
the Definition of happiness is different for everyone

nothing in life comes free...
not even the path others choose for us is as good as it appears to them
what do they know anyways? do they even know what difficulties that path has for her and how much she endures in order to bring forth that smile in that path which they assume as happiness 
in the end its not them who has to live this life. 
they have no idea what it feels like to be used and thought of as an option to use when you have nothing else or when you just want to make yourself feel better by her inspiring words
they don't know anything at all

they think that they can cage a bird that wants to be free
they think she would be satisfied settling for whatever is in front of her without experiencing how it feels like to spread her wings in the sky 
but that's impossible  
no matter how much love and care you give her or how good of a food u feed her
 the freedom to find her own path and hunt her own food is what will make her the happiest 
But the question is... how to say this to the people who loves her?
how to make them understand that she is not at all happy with the way life is turning out for her? 
Instead its suffocating every single day pretending to be happy when in reality all that doesn't make a single bit difference on her 
How to tell them that this is not at all what she wished for without disappointing them or making them sad
The only thing she wish for is live her life in freedom without binding herself to anything or anyone
Why cant they understand this simple thing?


Saturday, 14 February 2015

Happy Valentines Day !

So the most Fret over and largely celebrated day among the teens as well as anyone who values love more than anything is finally here xP
I honestly never celebrated this day (Forever Alone Girl) and i don't really know how it must feel to spend this day with the one you love the most but still...
 For all those who truly loved someone with all their heart regardless of all the good and bad in them this song by Avril is one of the best one to express your feelings
For me also, this song hold not just one but few very precious memories.
Even if things are different now, these things can never ever change.
And of course this is for all the anime lovers out there also *-*
Lol i guess i am getting carried away xD 

Anyway, i don't know about you guys but for me this day has been unusually boring , had to empty out my room for painting, entertain my newly shifted little cousin and spent rest of the time crafting hearts with nobody to give it to :P (height of being forever alone :P)
But at-least i am not the only person alone today
Aligarh has been infected with swine flu preventing people from going out
So as a 'certain someone' said that if we cant enjoy this day today then why should they? xD

Anyway i hope everyone had a nice Day today ^^
and here is a little example of my lonesome heart xD
A Very Happy Valentine's Day everyone ♥\( *-* )
May You have an unforgettable day xD

#HappyValentinesDay  #Heart  #Romantic #LoveIsInTheAir  #Romance  #Teen  #Teenage  #Relationship  #Love   #ValentinesDay2015  #Craft

Sunday, 1 February 2015

Boring Start of February

February already here, and for everyone its time to get busy preparing for Valentine's day with their certain someones or to go find one.
And for a forever alone girl like me, the start of Feb only means that its time to get serious and study much more seriously since the day of the entrance exam of Aligarh Muslim University is rather near
I have no time to write any blog posts either lately let alone celebrate Valentine's day or even the Single Awareness day.
Gotta stop myself from getting addicted to manga during this period also T.T
Any normal Otaku can understand my feelings right now that how difficult it is to stay away from my precious anime world.
Its soooo damn boring right now studying these stupid subjects which makes me sleepy just looking at them and by restricting myself from doing anything which may get me off track from my goal, even took break from my gaming during this preparation period, and this boredom brings out the normally dead artist outta me by doodling around xD

Saturday, 31 January 2015

Rebound Relationships

Why do people opt for rebound relationships? 
Specially when they aren't even over their past?
Loneliness? to kill off emptiness by having someone around? Need someone to baby them out? Or falsely telling themselves that they are in love when in reality in every step with the current one they can only see the past rather than the person who is there for them?

What exactly is the point of  it anyway?
I mean if you aren't really over your past then you cant really fully love the person who is there for you

I know that it isn't easy forgetting our past and to be honest nobody can ever fully forget it but still...
How exactly is it fair on the person who is there with you in the present?

People don't understand that in the process of this whole thing they are just playing with the feelings of the person who is caring for them.
You may think that the other person isn't aware of it but you are wrong, they know all of it yet they silently stay with you, support you in everything, regardless of how much it might be hurting them because they truly care about you.

Nevertheless, its as good as using them for your own sake , and hurting them while trying to heal your own self
And i don't think that is fair at all.

I believe that we should fully let go of the past before moving on to next relationship or go for a rebound because these things can make neither you nor the other person happy  and it ends not too greatly for either of you.

Friday, 23 January 2015

What Does It Take To Forget?

I guess its easy to live life somewhat with positivity without looking back and moving forward
but is it easy to remove certain things from our memories  altogether? I suppose that's a stupid question to ask but I still wonder
how many of us can forget things and also remove them from our unconscious mind?
Is it even possible to do so?
I don't really know much about spirituality or however these things works
But when we have long forgotten things in our lives, why do they still haunt us in our dreams?
The tears which we never shed when the painful incident occurred
Why do they fall in the dreams so uncontrollably?
Why is it that it feel like we have no pain and our feelings all cold and we are living our life happily and positively
Yet in our dreams it hurts so much
that you cant breathe?
I keep telling everyone that its pointless running after something which you know you cant have
So why do we still do that?
Why cant we just grasp the Happiness which is right ahead of us?
Why does this unconscious mind takes over and makes us stagger around the negative path when we aren't even aware of it?

This might be my first most confusing post ever for certain people
who are just as clueless as i am when it comes to these things xD

Thursday, 1 January 2015

Finally Happy New Year!

Finally the long awaited year end is here

This year has been extremely eventful
and full of all sort of emotions
a little bit of heart break, a little bit of sadness, exam stresses :P but after that it was all happiness, excitement, togetherness, and creating so many memories with everyone precious to me
i know that these years would come and go and these people may change or not be what they were back then but what we had all had in those moments shall mean everything to me and be remembered for a lifetime.
This may seem like a mere tissue but it is very precious to me
there are people from that time whose name might not be mentioned here but still those are also just precious.

This year taught me a lot.
I lost some really precious people who meant so much to me but i am not sad about it because they also taught me some important lessons and i would like to thank them for it
And losing people isn't the only thing i got.
instead i gained  people who became such great friends and changed everything for me when i had least expected it.
Became my strength and encouraged me when i needed it the most.

On My Birthday which i was expecting to be a lonely depressing one, i got a surprise parcel from some unknown person and i was shocked and close to tears when i saw  this inside.
This may look like an ordinary mug but this is a magic mug with a picture he attached on it from my childhood times with me and my close group of cousins and sisters :)

This was so far the best birthday gift i could ever receive.
This was a surprise from my brother Ashay and this was the first start of all the good things happening to me in this year.
Thank You so much bro for making it all so special for me :)

And the end of this year has been used in the best possible way.
An all girls day out with my friends and sister :D
watched movies hangout and even met these little cuties xD

At the end of it all
i would say that this year ended with 0 regrets and only positivity :)
Hope this new year will be much greater than the previous one
and create much more beautiful memories :)

Happy New Years everyone!